Reporter to Gordon Strachan:

So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were
better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big ******* green one out there....

More: Fun quotes

George Bush and John Kerry go Ice Fishing.

It seems that the 2004 election was so close that the Electoral College  vote was tied, and that Congress couldn't break the deadlock, and that the Supreme Court decided . . . ... Jokes

At what time of day is a gentleman most likely to fart?

A gentleman is mostly likely to fart first thing in the morning, while in the bathroom. This is known as "morning thunder," and if the gentleman gets good resonance, it can be heard throughout the household. More Fart facts

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Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. . . . . . . . . . . Continues on the jokes page: Jokes

A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2+2?" 

The housewife replies: "Four!".

The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4.  Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time."

The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice,  "How much do you want it to  be?" More: Jokes

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